Attention Deficit Monotonic Teens Meet The Pychotic!
by The Undead Bro
Summary: Imagine what would happen if you came home from school to find characters from the Naruto world in your house while your parents are out of town. Well I don't have to imagine it any more I'm living it, and it is not easy or cheap. Read to find out how chaos takes over the town with the akatsuki doing everything they can to claim the town of Wewoka Oklahoma. ShikamaruxOC HidanxOC
1. prolouge

**Hey everyone i've been reading alot of stories where then naruto characters end up in our world so i decided to make one of my own but i couldn't pick just one so i decided to bring many different ideas of shows into this enjoy my innuendeo filled fanfic.**

_This shit is completely useless i am never going to have to use this shit in my life. Geometry is completely useless,whats the point most of these people couldn't tell you what gender they are without looking down their pants._ I thought to myself before hearing the intercom buzzing.

_"Austin Lankford to the office, Austin Lankford please come to the office. That is all." I heard a voice from the intercom saying._

"Be there in a second Amy." I replied while grabbing my backpack and quickly flipping off the teacher as i walked out of the room towards the office.

I arrived there a few moments later since my classroom was right down the hall. "So hows the kids Ameliea?" I asked the secretary.

"Well River's still sick and Rory's still stuck in the hospital so not so well." She replied with a frown.

"Oh, well things can only get better right?" I asked with a fake smile.

"Yeah, and the Principal would like to see you now." She replied smiling.

I just nodded my head and walked towards his door which was about 14 feet forward from the doorway I was standing in. A second later i was in his ofiice and he was staring at me like i was some type of goo that was stuck to his shoe. "So what am I in here for this time Theta?" I asked him already knowing the answer.

"First of all i have told you multiple times to call me Mr. Sigma, and second of all it's about the dress code issue again. Now we can handle this one of two ways, i can either call your parents-" He said before i cut him off.

"Their on their fourth honeymoon in hawaii, so theres really nothing they can do and before you say anything else i don't have that mokey suit you call a uniform i burnt it." I said refering to the uniform as a monkey suit.

This was a very weird school they had everything expensive they could get their hands on such as a fancy looking statue in front of the school, motion detecking water fountains, and the cooks got to use some top of the line machinery to make lunch. Everything here was expensive, everything but the teachers and so called _chefs_ here, they got paid less than half what their supposed to get.

"WHY WOULD YOU BURN IT?! I MEAN HONESTLY YOUR AS BAD AS YOUR SISTER WAIT NO AT LEAST YOU ACTUALLY WEAR SHOES YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DISSMISSED JUST GO HOME!" He yelled at the air more than at me.

So while he was still yelling at the air i headed to my sister Nikki's class. I had a feeling that she was waiting for me in there seeing as how i got a text from her saying_ 'I'm bored get me out of here! i want a doughnut!'_

I knocked on her classroom door while asking where the doughnut came from when the door opened. "What do you want Austin?" I heard a voice from above me saying grumpily.

"I need my sister to drive me home i'm bailing." I replied to the man i dubbed Mr. Moony.

"Fine Nikki get your stuff and get the hell out my class." He said facing towards her desk.

"Yes , and by the way that wasn't correct grammer." She said with all her ready to go and walking out the classroom towards the parking lot exit.

About 15 minutes later we found her car which was a completely black, 1967 chevy impala, four door car with some big orange fuzzy dice hanging on the rear veiw mirror. It was almost an exact copy Dean's car from _supernatural._

The road we were driving down had almost no cars although me and Nikki were to busy dancing to One direction's What makes you beautiful in the car to care. It took about 30 minutes in total to get out of the school and make it back home.

Which meant we were right on time to catch the _Doctor Who _marathon which we had dressed for, I was wearing a _TARDIS_ blue t-shirt, with my usual black cross, super tight black skinny jeans, combat boots, and one _TARDIS_ earing in my right ear. Nikki was wearing a fez, bowtie, no shoes, black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and the other _TARDIS _earing in her left ear.

*3 and a half hours later.*

We were halfway through our fourth episode when Jack died again and emily threw her fake sonic screwdriver at the telly right when it switched to a commercial and lightning struck near our house.

I then began to feel the house shaking, spinnng, flipping and doing all other kinds of weird stuff when a vase fell down crashing directly on to my head knocking me out instantly.


	2. chapter 1 god angel mustaches cheese

**chapter 1 God + angel + mustaches = cheese**

**Me: Sorry for the late update and I have changed my name from 1dfanboy99 to the undead bro.**

**Pewdiepie: I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRREEE EEEE! Just kidding always happy to get another bro.**

**Mr. chair: Pewdie. Help me Pewdie, the barrels got me Pewdie.**

**Me and Pewdiepie: FAHKING BARRELS! LEAVE MR. CHAIR ALONE!**

**Stephano: Jesus Christ Pewdie you can't do shit can you?**

**Me: WTF! No more argument story time.**

*Several hours later*

_Ow my head hurts._ I thought slipping back into reality from my subconscious state. I then realized I was lying down with my back on the ground with a broken vase and dirt near where my head was. I sat up a moment later to get a better look at the room when I saw Nikki on her hands and knees hunched over a very blue haired lady who was wearing an akatsuki cloak, a blue origami flower in her hair, and was wearing some very white sandals, she also had her nails painted a pinkish-red kind of color. Overall she looked almost exactly like Konan from Naruto but she had to just be a cosplayer.

She was drawing a mustache on her. "Nikki why are you drawing a mustache on the cosplayer?" I asked her very curiously.

"Ssshh. She's not a cosplayer." She replied with an evil smile.

"What do you mean of course she is, otherwise wouldn't Pein be here too?" I asked her sure that that Konan was just a fake.

"He is here now shut up you fucking moron." She replied annoyed and pointing to her other side.

I then began slowly crawling towards where she pointed at, and when I finally got over there I was surprised to see that she wasn't joking. Pein or a really good cosplayer was lying right there on the floor _asleep?_ I still wasn't convinced that that these were the real Konan and Pein though so I decided to wake up the 'leader' and ask him myself. Because this guy had to know one way or the other if the they were cosplayers or not.

So I decided to wake him up with the most annoying thing ever MULTILPE POKES TO THE CHEEKS! I decided I was going to say poke every time I poked him out loud to make sure that he woke up and if this didn't work I was going to slap him with cheese while making him listen to 'Baby' by Justin Beiber to torture him.

"Poke, poke poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke." I said aloud when poking him getting absolutely no reaction.

"Hey Nikki I think there dead." I told her not sure if they were or not.

"Do you know what this means? She asked me with no emotion in her voice like always. Sometimes I swear she's a robot.

"We torture them?" I asked her evilly.

"No." Nikki replied sounding strangely unfamiliar.

"Now tell me where am I?" I heard her ask still sounding strange again.

I turned around to look at her when I realized that it had not been Nikki at all that it had actually been the Konan cosplayer who was now standing up and had covered everything but Nikki's head in paper. "How the hell did you do that!?" I asked surprised.

"Answer her question." I heard another unfamiliar voice say from behind me.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I yelled turning around to see the Pein cosplayer standing there looking at me angrily.

"Answer the question!" He yelled at me angrily.

"Not until you tell me who you people are and what your doing here." I said calming down and trying to assess the situation.

"You dare tell GOD NO!?" I heard 'Konan' yell at me.

"Tell us where we are and we shall tell you what you want to know." 'Pein' said calmingly.

"Fine your in Wewoka Oklahoma of The United Sates of America." I informed them.

"Where I have never heard of Wewoka, Oklahoma, or The United States of America, now tell us what village were in." He said annoyed.

"What are you talking about? Wait you guys aren't cosplayers are you? Quick tell me your names!" I began thinking out loud.

"I am Pein." I heard the ginger haired one say.

"And I am Konan." The blue haired one said.

"Alright what was the last thing you remember doing before you woke up here?" I asked both of them.

"Why do you care?" Pein asked me as I began to hear paper ripping.

"Look do you wanna know why your both here or not if you do I suggest you tell me what I want to know that way I can try to figure this out." I said quickly hearing even more paper ripping.

"We were…talking to our _friends_ when there was a loud crash as our hideout door was destroyed by a girl with pink hair. Then there was a bright green flash from the roof and something fell from the roof and hit the ground making another huge green flash and that was when we woke up here." Konan said.

"Ok then thank you I think I figured it out." I said about to inform them of my discovery.

"You see your in a different world one that watches your world for entertainment and somehow when this thing hit the TV it teleported you two here." I said grabbing Nikki's fake sonic screwdriver of the floor and showing it to them.

"Well that is if the green flash you seen looked anything like this anyway." I added hitting it against the wall causing it to create a huge green flash just as Nikki ripped through Konan's paper and joined us.

"It… looked nothing like that." I heard Konan say displeased.

"Of course it didn't I mean come on Austin even you should've known that this wouldn't be that easy to figure out. Although lets see what happens if we turn it on and hit it." Nikki said grabbing it from my hand and clicking a button on it before throwing it at the wall creating an even bigger and brighter flash.

"What about that one?" Nikki asked the people I was starting to think were just cosplayers again.

"That one was closer but still no." Pein said slightly annoyed at us failing to figure out what brought them here.

"Do something prove you are who you say you are" I told them not asked told them.

"Look here you little brat, you cannot order me around do you have any idea who I am? I am god and I have been putting up with you then longer than I wanted so just tell us where we are and get us back to where we need to be!" 'God' said truly pissed now.

"No you look here this isn't Konaha, Suna, Ame or any of the other villages your in MY village! Our village me and my sister WE run this place and if you've got a problem with that that's to bad we'll tell you anything you wanna know later but right now I need to see something and I need your help to do it!" I told them making sure that they realized that they weren't going to be thinking that they were going to think they could boss me around

"…Fine. What do you want us to do?" They asked while glaring at me.

"Just use a jutsu prove to me that you are who you want me to think you are." I said calmly.

"Is that all before you'll answer our questions?" Pein asked calming down a little.

"Yes and if you would like something to eat or drink afterwards that would be just fine." I explained to them.

"Fine then lets just get this over with." Konan said making me remember she was still here.

Konan then created some origami figures out of thin air while Pein used his magnetic ability to flip and move the couch back to where it was supposed to be.

"Alright now what do you two wanna know?" Nikki asked them.

"Where are we?" Asked Pein while Konan threw some origami shuriken at me hitting me with six of them causing me to bleed on my already dirt covered clothes.

"We already told you Pein your in a different world and one that watches, and reads about your world but something happened." I told them looking at Nikki hoping she would finish explaining.

"We've seen into the future, things weren't supposed to happen like this. The barrier was supposed to be broke by the pink haired girl who would end up killing Sasori while Deidara was trying to capture the nine tails jinchuriki Naruto, he failed only because Kakashi Hatake was there." Nikki said carelessly.

"Oi Nikki can I talk to you for a second?" I asked stopping Pein from asking her a question.

"Austin I know your question and just trust me doing things this way we get rid of some serious moments later on and we get to have more fun." Nikki said without moving from her spot.

"What do you mean?" Pein asked confused.

"So are we just going to tell him _everything, _most or just what they need to know for now before we start screwing with them?" I asked knowing that they could still hear us since we hadn't moved.

"Just most… for now." Nikki replied trying to annoy Pein.

"Alright well while you explain that to them try not to get killed cause I'm taking a shower ok. Later." I said walking towards the bathroom that was up stairs while taking off my shirt.

"Nope. First we talk to them and explain to them everything they wanna know." Nikki said looking happy with her self.

"You said you've seen into the future so how much do you know about our organization and how far have you seen." Peon asked sounding worried as well as curious while staring at my scars and cuts.

"We've seen farther than you could ever imagine… past yours and Konan's deaths and into the war. We also know your real name, that you and Konan are students of the toad sage Jiriya, that we aren't looking at your real body that the body were looking at is your dead best friend Yahiko's, and we know more about your organization and the people in it then you do, for example we know that your not the true leader of the Akatsuki that the true leader is Tobi, we know how all your members deaths except for Tobi and Zetsu's, and we've even seen the past of your organization." I told them passing the rest onto Nikki to explain.

"That about covers what we can tell you for now." Nikki said with a smirk.

"What do you mean for now?" Pein asked us.

"Look we'll tell you more tomorrow, but it's late and we all need to sleep we got a long day tomorrow. But first are you hungry?" Nikki asked both of them while I walked to the bathroom for my shower.

"…What will you be feeding us?" Konan asked as her stomach growled.

"Ramen of course." Nikki said smiling at them.

"That will be fine, but we do NOT plan on staying long and I am ONLY accepting this food because of my hunger, now if we are staying over night I demand that we get a comfortable place to sleep." Konan said which surprised me because I thought they would need a lot more convincing.

"Of course and I will show you to your room as soon as your done eating which won't take long the ramen is almost done." Nikki said as cheer fully as possible which confused me because she was being way to nice.

Although I didn't hear much after that as I had decided to my shower tonight and just to go straight to bed because I was suddenly extremely tired. So I walked straight to my room after I got upstairs which was down the hall and instantly went to sleep the moment my head touched the pillow.

"Oi, Austin wake up we got a bit of a problem." Nikki said as she shaking me to wake me up faster.

"What the bloody hell do you think your doing waking me up this early?!" I asked her opening my eyes to see that it was still a little dark out.

"Just follow me and you'll see why." She said with slight excitement in her voice while dragging me out of bed and towards the hall, down the stairs, and straight into the living room.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WHEN THE HELL DID THEY GET HERE!?" I asked Nikki while looking at the problem.

Well problems. Standing in the middle of the living room were none other than Itachi Uchiha, Kisame Hoshigaki, Kakazu, and Hidan.

"Hey kid can you stop screaming for five fucking seconds so I can hear again?" Hidan said while sticking his finger in his ear checking for blood.

**Me: Thank you for reading the official chapter one cause I had a lot of fun writing it and I would just like to thank you one more time for spending your time to read this story because this is only my second story and the first one kinda sucked. But thank you and if you found any typos or anything just tell me and I will fix it ASAP.**

**Nikki: You thank these dumb asses way to much.**

**Me: They're still reading this!**

**Nikki: Pewdie do you wanna say it?**

**Pewdiepie: I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR RRREEEEEEEEE!**


	3. Chapter 2 part 1 of the war of religion

**Chapter 2 War of the religions!**

**Me: Sorry for the late update got stuck with a lot of work but this chapter should more than make up for it, and as you can probably tell this chapter is going to be about the war of the religions and I will most likely piss a lot of people of in this chapter seeing as how this is a religious war chapter. If anyone gets mad or upset because something bad or incorrect was said about your religion remember that it is going to be a religious argument and should not be taken seriously, thank you and hope you like the chapter.**

"Shut the fuck up Hidan before I kick your ass! I commanded Hidan making him stare at me like I was crazy.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that? I'll kill you for that!" Hidan exclaimed before sending his scythe towards me from the left side.

I dodged it fairly easily while grabbing part of it and pulling Hidan towards me and kicked him in his ribs sending him flying towards the wall using speed and force much stronger and faster than he expected throughout the whole thing.

"I thought you said there were no ninja in this strange world." I heard Pain's voice from behind me and quickly realizing he had just witnessed that I knew that if I wanted to keep their trust I would have to explain a little more.

"He's not a ninja, he's just a good fighter although he has been in a couple bad fights which is why he has a couple of scars that I know you seen yesterday." Nikki explained saving my life.

"YEAH AND THE LITTLE PRICK IS ABOUT TO GET A HELL OF A LOT MORE!" Hidan exclaimed while jumping from across the room scythe in hand.

"You shall not harm them Hidan." Pein said calmly making Hidan stop in midair stay there for a second then fall face first on the floor

"What else are you not telling us?" Konan asked emerging from the shadows.

"Who else is here?" I asked knowing at least one person or _thing _was hiding.

"There is no one else here." Itachi said knowingly.

"Wait for it." I told them seeing the sun rising.

"What do you mean?" Kakazu asked sounding irritated when his question was answered. The front door flew open and my friend Jessica came running towards the kitchen and the akatsuki members just jumped to the shadows and hid as well as possible.

Jessica continued running until she smashed directly into me as Nikki stood there walking towards the shower when I yelled at her "No way Nikki I didn't get my shower last night I am getting it right now!" Which instantly made Jessica get off me.

30 minutes later*

I had just finished showering and getting dressed when I heard a scream that was very fangirly. Although I didn't have to guess what happened next when I heard Itachi asking what someone screamed at. After walking calmly down the stairs and into the living room I figured out that me and Nikki were screwed seeing as how Jessica was standing there grinning like an evil, perverted genius. "What do you want?" Itachi asked her.

"To see your dick… wait did I just say that out loud? Fuck!" She said realizing what she had done.

O.O "What. The. Fuck." Itachi said creeped out.

"Why the fuck can't I get as many bitches as the emo fucker here?!" Hidan asked.

"Because yours end up getting split in half." Kakazu stated while looking at Jessica.

"State your name and purpose here!" Pein yelled at her.

"Shut the fuck up you bitch this is my house you don't get to say that shit here." I told him making sure he understood this.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO GOD THAT WAY!?" Konan exclaimed.

"HOW DARE YOU EAT THE FUCKING DOUGHNUT!?" I yelled back at her.

O.o… "What?" She asked me completely confused.

I then began literally rolling on the floor laughing.

"Sorry he just had some crack so he has no clue what's going on." Nikki said rolling her eyes.

"BULL SHIT EMMMOOOLY!" I said acting like I was drunk.

"What. The. Fuck. Did you just call me?" Nikki asked me completely pissed.

"Uh. Um. Nothing….?" I said hoping not to get killed.

"Don't. Ever! Call me Emily again!" Nikki said angrily towards me.

"And why the fuck not?" Hidan asked before seeing hell in Em- I mean Nikki's eyes.

"Because I'll chop off your balls and shove them up Kakazu's ass." Nikki said with an evil smile.

"Why am I involved in this?" Kakazu asked disturbed.

"Because you too are partners anyway." Nikki stated matter of factly.

"Then shouldn't you shove them up Kisame's ass?" I asked her confused.

"Oh yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh. KISAME GET YOUR BLUE ASS OVER HERE!" Nikki commanded.

"What did I do this time?" The blue man asked.

"What do you mean this time?" I asked.

"… No comment…." Kisame stated getting many wtf looks from the people around.

"WHERES THE PORN I WANNA MASTURBATE!?" Hidan exclaimed as loud as he could.

"Hidan what is wrong with you?" Pein asked him with his head held in his right hand.

"Follow me." I said grinning at what was going to happen.

Me: Sorry about this chapter being short but there is a couple of lemons in the next chapter if you guess them all you can either get a spoiler or I can send you inappropriate pictures.

Nikki: No you can't send them a cookie.

Hidan: Do I get to masturbate?

Jess: No you get laid.

Me: Well people were going to guess him any way.

Nikki: Warning the next chapter has readable porn for people who don't know what lemons are.

Me: Really?


End file.
